Still Life With Soup Can

 Paul Krugman, New York Times:

“Last night wasn’t just a victory for tolerance; it wasn’t just a mandate for progressive change; it was also, I hope, the end of the monster years.

What I mean by that is that for the past 14 years America’s political life has been largely dominated by, well, monsters. Monsters like Tom DeLay, who suggested that the shootings at Columbine happened because schools teach students the theory of evolution. Monsters like Karl Rove, who declared that liberals wanted to offer “therapy and understanding” to terrorists. Monsters like Dick Cheney, who saw 9/11 as an opportunity to start torturing people.

And in our national discourse, we pretended that these monsters were reasonable, respectable people. To point out that the monsters were, in fact, monsters, was “shrill.”

Four years ago it seemed as if the monsters would dominate American politics for a long time to come. But for now, at least, they’ve been banished to the wilderness.”

Which I don’t. But if I did, this picture would be all I need. This was taken on August 29, 2005, as New Orleans was drowning and Michael Brown was making worried calls to Bush.

I know this election is more complicated than this picture. I know that. I know the issues, and I know which candidate I believe will protect my rights. And I know that other people have different issues that are deeply personal to them.

Still.

I will think of this photo as I’m standing in line.

It ends tonight.

1. 15 mph. Why?
2. I honk at people if they don’t turn fast enough. I admit it. So if you live in New Orleans and there is a blue car behind you that lays on the horn as you are dropping to 2-5 mph and sloooooooowwwwwwly drifting around the turn, that was me. What the hell. It is perfectly safe to turn at, say, 10-15 mph. Stuff doesn’t even fly across the car. Seriously. It only does that when I turn at 20.
3. You do not need to bank to the right to make a left turn. You drive a Camry, not an 18 wheeler. You suck at life and cause the 10 cars behind you to miss green lights. Memo: They all hate you.
4. If you are going to ride a Vespa but you are too scared to go over 20 mph on it, and you drive to work on a 40 mph road, just do yourself a favor and get a bike.
5. You know what? Just don’t ride a Vespa. They are the new scourge of my drive.  I didn’t have them on my old commute. I hate them more every day. Someday I am going to rear end one because a) these jackasses go slow, and b) I find it hard to take them seriously as a vehicle, so my eyes tend to gaze right through them and at the bumper of the next (real) car in front of me.
6. If you are going to wear an iPod on your Vespa, you are officially even stupider than I already prejudged you to be owing to the fact that you have a friggin’ Vespa. And believe me, that is saying a lot.
7. Penis Wheels. Another scourge of the Louisiana roads. This is my name for those pickup trucks that have double wheels. You know, the shiny ones driving through the middle of an urban area that appear to be hauling exactly one person and nothing in the back and have never been used for actual work. So basically the only reason you need double tires on your truck when you drive through the narrow roads of Uptown, besides taking up other people’s lane and causing them not to be able to see around your massive blob of a gas-guzzling vehicle, is because they make you feel better about your penis.
8. The stop sign at Leake and Oak Street where people are getting on River Road. Where did you people get the idea that this stop sign somehow does not count? Seriously. I’m asking. I want to know.
9. Jefferson Highway. Not a highway. In fact, may be the slowest three lane road I’ve ever driven down.
10. The person named “A Neighbor” who left a note on my car telling me to pull up so two people can use that spot. Clearly I have lived in this neighborhood longer than you (yes, yes, welcome to Tulane, I hope college is fun), because people don’t double up in that spot. Probably because if they did, the second car would be parked illegally. I mean, yes, technically you could… with your ass hanging right up to/into the corner. But that is not legal. So STFU. When I left at 7:00 AM there were like 4 spots open nearby. Soooo… basically you’re telling me don’t park in front of your house because you would rather park illegally than take the spot across the street. Right.

OK, I think I’m over it. For now.

 I’ve been hit with my first nasty cold in several months. Lovely. Mike says I whine too much about it, but I’m sorry, it makes me mad to have fluids running out of every orifice in my face. Is there something wrong with that? I mean, as a society, what do we spend money on? How about wiping out VIRUSES? If it’s out there, it can be done through science.

I’ve been reading up on the election lately. Lots of thoughts, but unfortunately, none that my brain can put into words at this hour of the morning when my head is filled with phlegm. (Heh. I said phlegm. Possibly the grossest word in the history of ever.)

Used the being sick frustration to get back into Guild Wars this weekend. My main character is having a hell of a time with the Ascension missions. I’ve done one out of three, and it was mad easy! But I can’t do Elona Reach or Thirsty River without being overwhelmed by hordes of Forgotten snake-hissing things. I went out and killed some stuff for money yesterday, upgraded my sword (slightly) and my armor (slightly– I can’t get the 80 armor till I get to Droknar’s Forge so am stuck with what I have). Probably I’d have done it already if I could trust my henchmen NOT to indiscriminately run into mobs. I have already noticed, believe me, that Forgotten come in groups of three. Therefore I think real people with a brain who know how to wait and heal could do it. Unfortunately, I don’t have anyone to play with. (Come on, friends, you know you want to play Guild Wars and kill things online with me, right? Right? Please? And don’t tell me to play WOW. WOW is not free. Guild Wars is. You know how I feel about things that are free. And besides, my characters are cuter.)

The Nola.com comment threads are a notorious local cesspool of ignorance. I mean, there are some serious festering idiots on there. Like a couple of weeks ago, I saw someone who was concerned (not joking) that Obama might be the Antichrist. “But the Antichrist is supposed to be charismatic…” And then people proceeded to have a SERIOUS DISCUSSION ABOUT THIS POSSIBILITY, laying out biblical quotes and everything. Also, no matter what the news piece is about, two comments in, someone has inevitably managed to make it about a) race, b) them liberals are terrorists and will kill us all, or C) Ray Nagin. But today this response cracked me up:

Cording to jesus, you should not want money:

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” —Matthew 6:24

So Jesus told them again, “It’s terribly hard to get into God’s kingdom! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. —Mark 10:24-27

…need more? so you see, all you conservative, tax-fearing republican types are hypocrites. especially in the eyes of your lord. jesus was all about sharing the wealth (social programs).

jesus was a liberal.

LOL.

… that I don’t have any more plane tickets to go out of town. OK, two someones are happy.

And we are so cute all together on the couch. (You know they MUST be happy to be willing to stack up next to me like that…)

I’m just back from San Francisco, by the way. I was there this weekend for a wedding. Hopefully posting some pictures soon. I’ve been home a total of probably 6 days in the past three weeks. I am weary!

The 4th and 5th graders have now each coded a web page that says, “Hi, this is my page.” Well, some of them say, “HI MOM,” or various other nonsense.

Aw.

“Can we make it pink next week?”

Yes, my little HTML-ing child. Yes, we can.

Y’all know I don’t talk about work. But I do have a new job this year, and this time it’s with little kids. Well, some of it involves little kids. Little kids are pretty foreign to me. I’ve never had experience with them, either in work or real life. I’m completely entertained by them. Just now I had this conversation:

Kid: Can I print a picture?

Me: You can print ONE page. That is it.

Kid: OK.

Other Kid: But! He printed four pictures! And I want that picture! But my computer won’t print!

Kid: I don’t know why it did that.

Me: Fine. Then you can give him one of your extras.

Kid: But… but…

Me: What can you possibly do with four of the same picture?

Kid: … tears…

Me: (inwardly: argh) OK, OK. He can print ONE from your computer.

I just think it’s funny that I’m like, “Oy, not tears!” I think I had tears like once last year.

Taken this morning, so as you can see, my cats braved the storm!

There was plenty of food left, but they definitely sucked down the water. No wonder, because the power is still out and it’s hot in there. Last night we had the windows up and they were lounging in them.

I hadn’t seen them since Friday. Poor abandoned guys. Jolee was not happy with me yesterday, and refused to purr. He put his ears down when I petted him, and kicked when I picked him up. But he’s completely over it this morning.

We learned that cats don’t like flashlights.

Well, the storm, from all accounts I’ve heard out of Uptown, was generally underwhelming considering the predictions of what it could have been. So it was probably just windy and rainy, and J.B. and S.B. probably hid under the bed like usual. They had food left out Saturday for probably 2 weeks (I overreact in these situations, but after Katrina, it’s best to be safe– Gustav was not in the Gulf when I left, but I made preparations in case I couldn’t get back).

My flight was supposed to be tonight and will now be arriving Wednesday afternoon. This means my cats will be alone 4 days and not 2 as I previously had planned (which I hadn’t even given thought to, honestly, because 2 days is such a non-deal– I left earlier than Mike to come up to NY, so he was there on Saturday to take care of them before he left, and because the storm came up I gave him about 100 specific directions about what to leave out where, but STILL). 4 days sucks, and I am rather afraid Jolee has had a heart attack and thinks I am not coming back like his other people after Katrina…. but on the flipside, they will keep each other company and they have stayed as long as 4 days before. Barring anything weird happening or sickness, even sulking, depressed, anxious me will admit they should be OK. Also I’ve heard Uptown the storm wasn’t anything a finicky cat would have had a heart attack over… that is to say, it just wasn’t that awful.

So. Wednesday. Hang on, kitties! I’m coming soon! I am stuck in upstate NY, and let me tell you, I have been so upset over them it has been impossible for me to have fun.

(But I am still really freaked out and I hope nothing weird or unforeseen has gone wrong. I love you, cats!!!)